I want to be like Woody when I grow up.
Nothing bothers him. He holds no grudges. He’s always happy. He always has something nice to say.
Out of Nowhere
How do you say no to a puppy who walks out of the woods to you in the middle of nowhere, twice? You don’t. You say “mine.” And go buy some puppy food.
That’s how Woody entered The Cute Guy’s life over 15 years ago. I’m not sure who saved whose life. Yes I am.
Woody the Cherub
Did you know that there’s such a thing as a magic bubble wand? There is! And Woody has one. I’ve never seen it, but I’ve witnessed its magic personally. From what I understand it’s a cross between a magic wand and one of those bubble wands that comes in a bottle of soapiness. I suppose it’s the Rubber Duckie version of fairy dust.
“Oh wait” you say, “Woody isn’t a rubber duckie, so he can’t wield a bubble wand!” Think again.
You see rubber duckies don’t always manifest themselves in the form of rubber duckies. In fact it’s humans who first created the likeness of a rubber duckie. Rubber duckies are an inner self we can tap into, when we’re at our best, to bring out our best. And Woody is always a his best, so he’s a rubber duckie. And a reminder to us to be more rubber duckie/Woody-like.
Back to my story…
We humans carry around stuff from our past which we call “trash” or “baggage.” Horses, kitties, rubber ducks and Woody’s are way smarter than we are. They greet each day with a squeaky clean perspective. Therefore, while we clog our vision with all that junk from our past, projections about ourselves, and expectations of others, the Wiser Woofer sees right though it. You see, he told me about his daddy, The Cute Guy. He was a reflection of his soul. And he was right. The moral of the story: Always trust the opinion of rubber duckies. And dogs. And horses. And Kitties. (I’d trust Prudy’s judgement better if she would stop licking the peanut butter off my celery. “Prudy, kitties don’t like peanut butter!”)
Okay, maybe his favorite thing to do is to sleep at the foot of his daddy’s recliner, as a foot warmer, or on his bed, the wood floor, a rug. Yes, Woody has perfected snoozing with great, concentrated practice. But Woody has other hobbies as well.
When he was younger he nearly lived in the lake. And heaven forbid he’d get on the scent of a deer: gone!
But we’re talking these days. And these days the dear boy gets his exercise bunny hunting from bed, while he sleeps. A little stroll along the driveway at Dad’s or in the pasture at the Farm, and he’s ready for another nap.
Tip: If ever you need to wake him, just say the word “Greenie” or cook up some…
You’re certain to get a prance out of him after he does his business in the morning and comes in the house for his Greenie. But Woody’s favorite food is that of any dog, and humans who will admit it: BACON!
A Dog with His Own Logo
A logo for a dog? Why of course! Yes, Woody has his own logo. You see, his Daddy built a pool house which includes a big bar with beer on tap and a very nice kitchen in which to cook steaks and bacon. Naturally, the place has to have name, and naturally it is named after The Best Dog Ever.
Woody also has his own BBQ sauce. North Carolina style: None of that hideous red stuff others put on burgers. It’s his Daddy’s recipe.
Don’t be alarmed. While the concoction bears his name, he isn’t allowed to actually eat any. It’s wonderful being inspiration. (Can you tell that in his Daddy’s eyes Woody gets credit for everything?) He prefers bacon anyway. But you know that.
Yes, Woody has a logo. But no theme song. He needs a theme song. It would be composed by Greg Allman. Which may explain why he doesn’t have one.
If Woody were to write a haiku here’s how it would go:
My Daddy, my Daddy,
I love you!
How about a limerick:
There once was a dog from Georgia…
Um, does anything rhyme with Georgia?
Let’s start over:
There once was a dog from Woodstock…
Sock, flock, rock…
Wait! Back to the haiku. The “aroorooroo” part. Woody sings! He sings his own theme song!
But only outside by the lake when his Daddy asks him. His Daddy’s at work right now. But I could go fry up some bacon and maybe I could get him to do it and get a recording…
If Woody had a bumper sticker it would read:
Will Howl for Bacon